by Anon, 17

It started about two years ago now but has gotten worse as time has gone on. I constantly worry about my weight and feel scared to become over weight. It’s like an obsession. I weigh 9st and I’m 5ft 6…so I’m not overweight but I’m not happy with how I am.

Stressful times

I don’t really know why it started but I guess I have gone through some stressful times recently which hasn’t helped. I started to realise that it would be worse when I had a negative feeling. I’m sick between 1-4 times a week but sometimes I’m sick more than once in a day.

I hate it so much that I have a lack of energy, constantly tired. I hate the stomach aches and headaches after being sick and I have started to get slight heart pains; I’m guessing heartburn.

Friends

All I want is to be normal, I want to be able to hang out with my friends and eat the food they do without wanting to be sick, or having to make an excuse as to why I cant hang out with them so that I don’t get in the situation.

When I am sick I feel like I have failed, and each time I fail I feel more upset about it.

I often think that if I start eating then I won’t stop so I try to not eat but then I just get too hungry and give in. My family try and suggest eating small amounts regularly but when they talk about the foods that I should eat I feel so scared that I cry.

Ask for help

I have gone to the doctors before, probably about a year ago now when it started getting worse, and all they basically did was calculate my BMI, told me I wasn’t underweight so apparently I don’t have an eating disorder…

I think I might ask my parents if I can talk to someone who actually knows about the disorder and who will give me proper advice. I know I need help because it’s impossible to beat this on my own. I will recover and I will be happy again. Good luck to anyone who is trying to recover; stay positive.

This story may have been edited by Children First for Health for editorial and confidentiality reasons only.

For more information contact

• Visit Anorexia & Bulimia Care or call their helpline on 01934 710 336
• The charity beat (formerly the Eating Disorders Association) have loads of resources. You can call the adult Helpline on 0845 634 1414 or the Youth Helpline on 0845 634 7650
• YoungMinds provides information and advice on child mental health issues. You can ring on 0800 018 2138

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